Fake It Till You Make It

Have you ever heard the phrase “fake it till you make it”? According to the good ‘ol Wikipedia, the phrase “fake it till you make it” is an aphorism which suggests that by imitating confidence, competence and an optimistic mindset, a person can realize those qualities in their real life.  It echoes the underlying principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as a means to enable a change in one’s behavior.


Do you ever feel like you aren’t qualified, or just aren’t meant to “level up” so you just stay where you are…in a job, in life…or in a bad relationship even? Sometimes you are just so comfortable being where you are so you don’t even look to advance or better yourself or your life. Well guess what? Life is all about learning, growing and bettering yourself. You deserve the best, and don’t stop leveling up until you reach the best.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reviewed divorce petitions or final judgments and I see some of my clients (who many times are much younger than me) earning $10,000+ per month. Yes, I said $10,000+ PER MONTH. They have more than $10,000 in various savings accounts, they have hundreds of thousands in retirement assets or in other various assets…and little to no debt. Every single time one of these divorce petitions or final judgments cross my desk I say the same thing… “Daaannnggg …. what in the world does he/she do??!!” I always wonder what he/she did to get there. Then I fanaticize about what life would be like to have all my bills paid every month. To not have any debt. To be able to pay for things for my kids when they need them and without any worries about where I’m going to get that extra money. To have more than $50 in my savings account. What’s it like to live like that?

One of my coworkers got me thinking last week. She asked me what I am doing in my job? She knows I have more than 17 years of experience doing what I do….and she asked why am I not going after something bigger? Something of a managerial position or something corporate? And she’s right. Why am I just sitting here…being comfortable in my job, but yet struggling in my finances? Why? Because change is scary. Putting yourself out there is scary. The unknown is scary.

I attended a leadership training nearly one year ago now and one of the many guest speakers there spoke on “fake it till you make it”. You don’t even realize how much confidence this instills in you until you start actually doing it. Do you know what else gives you confidence and makes you shine? Standing in a superhero pose before you go in an important meeting. No, you wouldn’t stand in the pose during the actual meeting (you’d look awfully silly, and frankly, I’m not sure you’d get the results from that meeting that you were hoping for). Try the pose (alone) somewhere before a meeting. All of a sudden you will be filled with confidence. And what grabs people’s attention more than anything? Your confidence.

It’s the same with dating. You don’t even have to be the best looking person out in the dating realm. You don’t have to be the richest. You don’t have to have the best body. If your confidence shines it’s like a magnet and it just attracts people to you. All of a sudden you are standing a little taller. You are holding your head a little higher. The positive energy is just flowing from your pores. People become so attracted to the aura you are giving off.

The Hearts Center Community: https://www.heartscenter.org/TeachingsBlogs/FoundationalTeachings/UnderstandingtheHumanAura/tabid/368/Default.aspx#.W18zojaWxaQ



So what am I trying to say?  Get yourself out there. Be confident in yourself (but don’t be cocky or arrogant). Don’t give up. Keep reaching for the stars. Don’t settle. Keep going. Level up. LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE.



5 Replies to “Fake It Till You Make It”

  1. I looooooved this post! I just used that “fake it til you make it line” in my most recent blog post. It was something I had to rely on for years until I actually realized that my confidence was real. Thank you for this read. So relatable.

    1. Thank you!! This can be a GREAT confidence booster … and what attracts people to you? Your confidence!! I’m going to go read your blog post now too … maybe I can learn more! 🙂

  2. Family Law! You gotta love it! 😏

    My paralegal is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I don’t know where I’d be without her. You guys do the heavy lifting.🙂

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