Dating In The 21st Century

Dating is not what it used to be. In fact, it actually kind of (REALLY) sucks.  Let me elaborate….

You set up a profile on a website. Pick one website…or multiple websites. Many times you will see the same profile on about 3 different dating websites. You answer some questions that the website poses to you. “Would you date someone who smokes?” “Do you have children?” “Do you have any pets?” Etc.  As if answering any of these questions will lead you any closer to your soul mate. You upload the best pictures you can find, or take, of yourself. You maybe, maybe, write some great little bio that you will hope grab attention (but the truth of the matter is that 90% of people don’t even care to read your bio).

You start browsing through the profiles of some others on the site. You look through pictures. Your eye catches the person’s age, height, maybe the city they currently live in … and then you are back to their pictures. You notice a small imperfection in their smile and you’re not sure if you’d like that, so you exit out of their profile and look through some more. You find another one. Swipe through the pictures again…notice that in one of their pictures they didn’t appear to look all that put together, so you exit out and look through more profiles.

Then it happens. You get your first message. Now depending on if you’re a guy or a girl, your experience here is slightly different. I’m going to speak mostly from the girl’s side … because, well, I am a girl.

****STEP #1****

GUY

Opens inbox/mailbox. “You’re handsome.” Replies, “Thanks.”

GIRL

Opens inbox/mailbox. “Hey sexy.” Replies, “Hey.” “How are you?” Replies, “I’m fine.” “Can we exchanges numbers?” Replies, “Sure…mine is xxx-xxx—xxxx.” Receives a text with a dick pic. :/

eye roll

****NEXT****

You begin browsing through profiles again. Another message hits your inbox/mailbox. Repeat the entire step #1 again. In fact, repeat step #1 about 10 times.

Ok. Finally you stumble upon a profile where you see no glaring imperfections in any of the pictures, the individual’s height and body shape seem to meet your approval and you are able to strike up at least a small, somewhat meaningful, conversation with the individual. Finally…you chat a little, sending messages back and forth for about 30 minutes. You have high hopes. You may have found one! And then…nothing. Silence. You sit there. Should you send them another message? Maybe they just got busy. You wait. And wait. Nothing. You decide to send another message. No reply. Ooook…..

****NEXT****

Repeat step #1 a couple more times. URGHHH!!!!

Now here’s where it gets fun. You finally come across a profile where you see no glaring imperfections in any of the pictures, the individual’s height and body shape seem to meet your approval and you are able to strike up at least a small, somewhat meaningful, conversation with the individual….AND…it continues. You exchange numbers. You text back and forth a little. You agree to meet in person. Aaaand…the individual looks nothing like their profile pictures. You’re irritated and now you find them to be actually kind of annoying and/or embarrassing to be around in public. So you do what any other normal human being would do…you continue the date and you ghost them after.

****NEXT****

Repeat step #1 a couple more times.

Do you see where I am going with all this yet?

Now let’s say you make it past all of this fun and you finally do meet someone and you hit it off with them. You had a great time with each other on date number one (even went back to their house with them after and REALLY hit it off…if you know what I mean). Then there’s nothing. You get upset. Jump back in to your dating profiles, meet someone new…now repeat this particular scenario a couple more times.

Ok, this clearly isn’t working. You’re going to try one more time and that’s it! You’re going to give up if this doesn’t work. But this time…you are NOT going to go home with anyone after date number one. Got it? You meet someone, hit it off…things go great! You go separate ways at the end of the night. You’re still talking after that. Yay!! You’re excited. There’s more dates. You feel like you’re actually in a real relationship now! FINALLY! You delete your dating profiles. Then the 3 people referenced in the paragraph above start texting and/or messaging you out of no where. There are various excuses as to why they didn’t contact you sooner. You engage in a little small talk with them, but that’s about it. You continue on with your current, now partner (so you think). But then you have suspicions that your now “partner” possibly has others sitting there just lingering too (like you do). You two have your first argument/disagreement. Ugggg…you’re so mad. You message and/or call the three people in the above-paragraph, each individually…and hit them with the “Hey!! What have you been up to lately?”…and you re-list your dating profiles.

next

****NEXT****

Does anyone else see ANYTHING wrong with any of this?? There is absolutely no value placed on relationships anymore. People do not take time to get to know each other anymore. You are randomly picked from a selection of photos and then settled for when everyone else before you failed. Then when you don’t have sex right away, or if you do, or you don’t send nudes right away, or if you do…when you also “fail”, you are tossed away and traded for the next person that is waiting there…just one single text message, or inbox, away…that is apparently willing to do all the things you didn’t do…or did do…who the hell really knows anymore.

Let’s not even talk about marriage. You know how many more short-term marriages I see these days compared to what I saw even just 10-17 years ago? If you get lucky enough make it to that lovely wedding date…you’re not out of the woods just yet. You still could be thrown right back into this lovely dating pool pit in the blink of an eye.

I find all of this so sad. Sure, the whole online dating thing is handy because who has the time anymore to actually go out and meet new people? Who has the time to actually just hang out with someone and really get to know them? It’s SO much more convenient to meet new people from the comfort of your bed, while lying in your jammies, shoving your face full of popcorn and watching a drama-filled television series on Netflix.

I still tend to hold a value to relationships. I have a hard time severing connections (even when I probably really should). Do you know how hard it is to value a person and a relationship these days…when this isn’t the norm anymore? Dating in the 21st Century is not easy!